Ranting and Raving in the Room of Requirement
by dobbyfan18
Summary: Nice comeback' 'What comeback? I didn't even make a comeback' 'My point exactly' 'You never have a point' 'Well, neither do you' Another scheme to get James and Lily together. Please R
1. Chapter 1

To the casual observer, it was a peaceful day in Professor Binns' third period History of Magic. But if you were to focus more closely upon a certain table, which currently seated a fiery redhead and an adamant brunette, it became clear that a small battle was occurring right under the ghost-teacher's nose... not that this didn't happen regularly between James Potter and Lily Evans.

Potter -- ouch -- what do you think you're doing?Getting the book!Trying to hold my hand, more like!Well if you'd stop hogging the book -- you're not the only one writing a review paper --

Several tables over, no one was paying the slightest attention to their review papers. There was a much more important matter at hand than the goblin wars of 1581: the fact that James and Lily were madly in love, they were just too proud to admit it.

I swear, the girl's _hopeless_! said Addie Waters, Lily's best friend. Her blue-green eyes were fixed on the pair. You should hear her ranting about James in the dorm... how he always does stuff for her, how great his legs are, _how she wishes Sirius would ask her out for him again!_It's got to be more subtle than that, Ads, Sirius Black replied, sweeping his dark hair out of his eyes. She's not going to say yes if half of Hogwarts is watching!

Addie opened her mouth to argue, but Peter Pettigrew got there first.

From what Addie's said, she probably would... she's desperate.Not desperate enough to say yes in front of those little jerkettes Taylor and Samantha! Sirius put in.

Yeah, remember last time, in Ancient Runes? Remus Lupin reminded them.

** flashback **

James was announcing to his friends that they should start calling Steven Stebbins Steven didn't seem to know what to do about this new development, and sat there looking hurt. 

Lily, who had had a crush on Steven up until very recently and still regarded him as a friend, narrowed her eyes and spat, Shut up, Potter!

Sirius was sitting behind James and had not contributed to the moment thus far, which was in itself rather unusual. However, when he spotted Lily, he sprang up and, pointing at James, said, Will you go out with him?You're crazy, Lily had answered promptly.

So will you? piped James.

Lily merely walked away.

** end flashback **

I don't want that to happen again, Sirius said. It needs to be just them.In that case, I'm fresh out of ideas, Addie pronounced flatly.

Same here.He is such a prat! Lily exclaimed later, as she and Addie walked to Transfiguration. I mean, it's obvious he likes me, did you see he kept trying to hold my hand today? Why doesn't he just ask me out?Don't ask me what goes on in James Potter's head... although it's probably something along the lines of Lily. Quidditch. Eat. Sleep. Lily. Quidditch. Eat. Sleep.' Addie commented, laughing.

§§§§§

Meanwhile, James was ranting and raving as well.

I can tell she likes me too, but what if she doesn't? What if it's all a big misinterpretation? I don't want her to say no again! How do I get through to her?We don't know girls, mate, Peter said simply.

Yeah, perhaps if you asked Jenika, Remus added, referring to another of Lily and Addie's friends.

You just want an excuse to talk to her! Sirius goaded him.

Gee, guys, thanks for the support about LILY! said James sarcastically as Remus flushed.

§§§§§

That evening in the Gryffindor common room, while James and Lily were occupied by chucking large, random, and often rather sharp objects at each other over their latest argument, their friends resumed their discussion of getting the two together.

Force them?Too brutal.All of us pair up and leave them no choice?Too preppy.Have Addie and Jenika starve Lily while we starve James and then after a week, give James a rock and tell Lily it's a piece of toast and take a picture when she dives on him for food and then digitally erase the rock so they're holding hands?Too hyper-Hannah-ish.Lock them in a room together? Peter suggested tentatively.

That just... Sirius said thoughtfully.

Jenika mused.

said Addie gleefully.

§§§§§

Hi all! Sorry about my really long hiatus, but I'm back now and this one is a lot easier than some of my other fics because it's based on a bunch of people. I'm actually already writing chapter 4, so I'm ahead of the reviewers for once! I can hang it from the ceiling like a piece of bacon (lol) and not post chapter 2 until I get three reviews! So please review because I want to post! Even if you hated this, think of all the people that might have liked it, and what you're depriving them of:P

Disclaimer: I don't own MWPP and Lily, or Hogwarts, or the Room of Requirement. I do own the characters Addie and Jenika. I probably don't own the concept of locking J&L in a room because I've seen it done at least twice, but I think mine is unique because James and Lily BOTH hate each other, not just Lily.

I say again, PLEASE REVIEW!


	2. A Weekend in Peace

Good thing she's a heavy sleeper.Yeah... I have to drag her around the floor by her ankles to wake her up when I spend the night...

It was Saturday morning, and Addie and Jenika, having levitated the sleeping Lily out of her bed, were chatting as though this was a normal occurence.

Remus said the seventh floor, right?Yes... Look, there's that tapestry he told us about... The one with the guy getting clubbed by trolls, isn't it?Looks like they're not here yet... shall we go ahead and put her inside?

§§§§§

Elsewhere in the castle (namely the boys' dormitory), Sirius was attempting to wake up his lovesick friend -- James, that is.

Prongs... Prongs, get up! was the reply.

Medar likes algebra? a confused Peter attempted to translate.

More incoherent mumbling issued from the underside of James's pillow, where his head was currently residing.

He says we can all go die, and may the strawberries, pineapples and flies feast on our rotting flesh! Sirius announced to the room at large.

A befuddled Frank Longbottom emerged from the bathroom and, seeing three fully-dressed Marauders trying to wake the fourth, wisely went downstairs.

§§§§§

Fifteen minutes later, Sirius, Remus, and Peter arrived at the wall that would become the Room of Requirement, lugging an obviously Stunned James. The girls (except of course Lily, who was slumbering on) didn't even say anything before Sirius began to explain.

Well, you see, we _tried_ to tell him there were a bunch of Zonko's products in here but he didn't quite believe us... and then Wormtail let slip what we were doing.I'd be surprised if the whole of Gryffindor tower isn't awake after all the shouting Prongsie here did, Remus took up the tale as Sirius broke off to glare at his ratlike friend. So it really was necessary to Stun him.Of course... and Sirius, don't blame Petey, he came up with this idea, remember?Oh yeah... so shall we tell the room what to do?

They began pacing back and forth in front of the blank stretch of wall, all thinking thoughts that amounted to _We need a room or set of rooms where we can put Lily Evans and James Potter in which they'll have to cooperate and from which they'll emerge as a couple._ Or something like that.

The door appeared once they had each paced in front of it three times. Lily was stirring, so after a quick _Ennervate_ to revive James the comrades put their friends inside and shut the door.

Addie turned the key in the lock.

You're sure they won't be able to get out until they're together? Jenika asked.

said Sirius.

And time's compressed so they won't miss classes?Alright, then I guess we can have a weekend in peace.

The five conspirators exchanged high-fives and headed for Gryffindor Tower.

But a weekend in peace was far from what James and Lily would be getting.

§§§§§

Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue.

Reviewer shoutouts (I've never done this before! Yay!)

BlueroseS.S - YAY, my first reviewer on this story! Thank you! Sadly, no, I had to wait for three, but you ARE appreciated!

dobby-rocks - Thanks for the review, my fellow Dobby-lover! 

phoenixtear19 - The third reviewer! Yay for you (and pickles if you want some lol)!


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